mean girl

i have always taken pride in being the girl who will say what others were thinking. of being outspoken. honest, even brutally so. straightforward. i always so what's on my mind. and if for some reason i don't, word vomit could happen at any minute.

so. does that make me mean? does it make me unkind? should i censor myself for some people and not for others? does the degree that i care about a person dictate how much i hold back?

is it the way i say something, the tone of voice? the words i use? or that i say anything at all?

i always think of a little plaque i bought for a former coworker and good friend. it says

"if you don't have anything nice to say, sit by me".
i don't think that i want to sit by people who only have something mean to say, but people who do have something to say. not the person the doesn't have anything to say, or is too scared to share it.

i have been told over and over recently that i should 'be kind to the people i care about' and i think that i am. i don't think giving an opinion on something makes me unkind. maybe giving it does make me mean? am i allowed to have one, just not share it? or only share it if it's nice and positive. because i do have plenty of those too...

are you more open with judgement among your family and friends? are you more comfortable telling someone you care about something they might not like to hear, or telling a total stranger?

shouldn't you be able to say what you're thinking to the people that you share your life with? even if they might not like what you are saying. isn't that what sharing a life is about?